I have always written in this blog when something has gone wrong or conversely, when something has gone right. While I don't know if this is the beginning of something shiny and new, what I do know is that something is happening.
I am nowhere near where I was three years ago. I have been picking up the pieces to a puzzle and realizing that not all the pieces are there. The puzzle will never be 100% back to where it is. But that doesn't mean that I can't create new pieces to a completely different puzzle.
It's never been easy, and it will never be easy. I always hoped that I could be that person that I used to be. This last week, I have learned that I am better than I was before. I am stronger than I ever thought I could be and that I am capable of wanting to be something totally different.
I can feel my world on the edge of something large. I can tell that the way I am right now is only temporary and that different things are on the horizon.
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You are not the person I thought that I would fall for. But you are someone who makes me feel like everything is going to be okay. When I am with you, suddenly the world is a little brighter. You are someone who is able to deal with my bullshit and give it right back to me. I need someone in my life that is able to keep me on my toes. You make me feel safer than I have ever felt in my entire life. I am afraid to let go of the edge and depend on you to help me float, only because history proves that sinking will happen before swimming will.
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Just because I feel like everything is going to be okay doesn't mean that it is going to end up that way. In the long run, you have many battles ahead - and I'm signing up for them. I want to stand next to you and hold your hand while you fight through them, just as you will help me fight my demons.
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