120. Gotta keep your face up.

I had a dream about REdline. it was sad.

120/365

119. Scotty Garlock, I will love you forever.

Dearest Scotty, how do you deal with change? Because that is the
biggest road-bump I have run into thus far. Change.

People change, situational change. Place change. Adjustment to being
away from "home".

As I told you last night, I think, my best friend, or rather, the boy
who used to be my best friend, Nick, and I have changed too much. This
change has affected the best friend status between us. I've realized
it, and he hasn't. He's too naive to realize it. I've tried to walk
away multiple times, and he won't just let it be. But, at the same
time, I find it hard to let go. It's a weird situation. How do you
deal with realizing that you've lost the person who was your best
friend?

"Home" is another thing I can't do. I still don't feel at home here.
It's been 8 months, and this place does not feel like home. I hate it.
I don't know what to do. How do you deal with not being in Mission
Viejo? How do you deal with not being where you grew up?

When I go home it feels like I'm just visiting. I hate it. Centerville
Ohio doesn't feel like home anymore. I'm not looking forward to going
home, for that reason. And the fact that I know my dad is going to
yell at me and tell me he's disappointed in me because my grades
aren't up to par with everything else.

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

That's what I feel like. Stress is coming on quick.
BUT. I paid my speeding ticket. I have a whole 15$ bank account.

WOOO.

I love you so very much.
-Lindsey K

118. Sleep

I told myself I would go to sleep before 1AM today...

FALSE. It's almost 1am, and I am currently downloading the LIGHTS cd.
It's going to be another hour.

poop.

118/365

117. Alone

I'm starting to believe I'm going to die alone.

As much as I love alone time, being able to sit here without people interrupting my thoughts.
It's getting really old.

Roommate is gone once again. She's always gone.
She's always busy.

I'm sick of being alone.

117/365

116. passssssssssss!!

i passed c:

116/365

115. GSW

I am absolutely terrified that I'm not going to pass GSW right now.
not going to lie.

I find out tomorrow whether I did or not.

115/365

114. Poor excuse for a post.

promise you won't lie?
Pinky promise

5 oldest texts in your inbox?
all from Nick.

have you kissed anyone in the past 10 days?
nope.

whose car did you ride in last?
mine.

last person you shared food with?
saraa

do you believe once a cheater, always a cheater?
yeah. people don't change their habits.

have you been a happy, angry, or sad person lately?
happy/sad that redline was over.
angry about something I can't remember

would you ever get a tattoo?
yeah, i'm planning it out right now; the dark mark on my wrist.

do you hate when people smoke around you?
I don't really mind anymore.
After Redline.

is tomorrow going to be a good day?
probably not. tomorrow is monday.
i find out if i passed GSW tomorrow ;c

what's the weather like outside?
thunderstorm c:


do you know any mechanical stuff about cars?
no lol.


did you speak with your father today?
No

who was the last person you slept next to?
um. redline

do you think you can love someone without trusting them?
yes. i don't trust ross at all.
but i can't help but love him.

have you ever thought you were gonna die?
yeah

are you shy?
of course.

when was the last time you were truly, completely happy with your life?
it's been awhile

could things possibly get any better?
yeah.

plans for tonight?
homework. / sleeping.

you're able to go back in time and change one thing, what is it?
november 25. 2007 - i wish i wouldn't have started that argument with that boy.
i miss him everyday.

where were you at 2am?
sleeping

did you wake up in the middle of the night last night?
Nope

think a lot before you fall asleep?
yes.

are you wearing jeans, shorts, sweatpants, or pajama pants?
shorts

were you ever obsessed with vitamin water?
yes. senior year. motherfucker.

do you ever crack your knuckles/ back/ ankles/ wrists/ etc?
my wrists crack alllll the time.

pick a word that starts with the first letter of your first name:
love

did you sleep alone last night?
yes

what were you doing at 8 this morning?
sleeping.

song right now?
something by artist vs. poet

this time last year, can you remember who you liked?
yes. yes. yes. yes.
it's kind of obvious, bff.

is there a person in your life that can always make you smile?
yes. nickypoo.

did you kiss or hug anyone today?
nope.

when is your birthday?
august 19th

tell me a random fact:
my stomach hurts like a bitch.

how are you feeling?
i don't feel.

are you still best friends with the same person as the beginning of the year?
yeah

how would you feel if your last ex fell in love with someone else?
he's in love with a different person every ten minutes.
i don't care.
it was a pity date.

are you in a good mood right now?
i'm just bored. / eh.

who was the last person you spoke on the phone with for over 20 mins?
ross

are you trying to avoid liking/loving somebody at the moment?
i have no idea anymore.

if your friends warn you about someone, do you listen?
never.

who was the last guy you talked to?
nick c:

have you ever been asked out by someone you didn't want to date?
tylerrrr.

were you smiling in the last picture taken of you?
yeah.

what would you do if you saw a guy hit a girl?
bobbie hits me all the time.

do you have any analog clocks in your house?
yeah

do you use tobacco products?
no.

do you support local music/artists?
yesss. atomic potato!

do you use itunes or do you use another music player?
iTunes

113. BEDA

I've become aware that it is Blog-Every-Day-April.


Great, I'm participating.
113/365

112. Somebody please, slow me down.

I really don't know what to say. I haven't had a day in a long time where I don't have something to say.
I'm sorry for letting you down. How about I say that I'm absolutely in love with Chino Hills Drumline.

and I'm making an impulsive decision to move to California after school is done. Sounds like a plan.

112/365

111. I really have no life.

dear scott c. garlock,

I'm writing to you again, because it's that time of year that I get that "i-hate-ohio-i-want-to-move-to-california" feeling. It's happened every year since our WGI Championships in 2008. Maybe not so much last year, but it's definitely happening this year. Maybe since SoCal drumline was so tight this year. Maybe because I have the biggest crush on the Chino Hills drumline. Maybe because I wish I grew up in California and had a chance to play in California. You're so lucky. I'd do anything to go back in time about four years, move to SoCal and play band there for my high school career. I don't even care which drumline. Playing for Mission would be boss. 'cause we'd be bff's. Not that we're not now, but I wouldn't have wasted years not knowing you. But at the same time, I'm absolutely in love with Chino Hills drumline - since 2008, I've been so envious of them. I really do think I got the last good years of the Centerville drumline. I really just hate living in the mid-east. I don't belong here. Have you ever felt like you're just chilling in a place that you just don't fit in? Yeah, that's what I feel like in Ohio. We're land-locked, the sunshine isn't real sunshine. People here don't know what real sunshine is. The real sunshine only shows up in California, when you're standing on a beach looking at the ocean. That is REAL sunshine. That's what I'm living for. That what I want. You want to know what my honest dream is? To come chill with you in Cali. Like, to me, once I do that, I can die with a smile on my face. I miss you so much. And you know, I'm not really quite sure how I miss you, since WGI 2008 was kind of a blur. I don't even know how we became friends, or whatever you'd like to refer us as. Acquaintances? I don't like labels. They're too restricting. Whatever we are, you make me smile regardless. I watched WGI dvd's all day today. I started with 2008, of course, skipping Dartmouth because they're a load of crap. But I watched Mission '08. And I realized how wonderful it is. And how wonderful you are. And how silly you are. And how Nick has taken the role of silliness from you. I refer to him as my best friend, but honestly, I kinda just think he's you in Ohio. Someone I can actually talk to on a daily basis. Someone who makes me happy without trying. You do that, you know? Don't ever forget that. Regardless of anything that happens. Don't ever forget that you're so important in my life. That whenever I tell people about my experiences in life, I specifically brag about you, and how you're a staple in my memories. I don't really know where I'm getting with this, only that you mean a lot to me, and that, like I always tell you I miss you outrageously. I cannot wait to hear your voice once more. Please, when you get a chance to call people, let me be on your list? No excuse for not knowing my number - Just do it, kay? :)

love, lindsey k hasbrouck :)


111/365

110. Don't even know.

I don't know where I would be without this kid named Nick Allen. Honestly, I really feel like if there was that one person who changed your life significantly, it would be Nick. We may be four years apart, but I think that's what makes it the best. That somehow, I can live somewhere else, and we're still best friends. That it still feels like he's always there.

This weekend really solidified everything for me. For awhile I had some doubts about best friend, but we're solid. I can't imagine life without him

LOVE you. MEAN it.

110/365

109. Ripped apart.

All my muscles hurt from this weekend.

My calves hurt from the tunnel/hill
My thighs hurt from the daily stretches before retreat
My feet muscles hurt from standing
My hands hurt from playing.
My back hurts from sleeping in a locker room for two nights.

but, most of all, my heart hurts.

My heart hurts from being away from my family. From knowing that we'll never all be together ever again.

that, most of all hurts.

109/365

108. My best friend...

...is wonderful. I love this boy with my heart and soul. I hope he's something in my life forever. I could not ask for anything more than what he's given me. A reason to be happy. A reason to trust someone. I am who I am today because I met him last year.

108/365

107. It's over

WGI came and it went.

The Common Man placed 5th in the world with a 92.5 - same as Bounce in 2008.
Pulse Percussion won PIW, followed by Rhythm X, Music City Mystique, and RCC.

It was a fun season guys, thanks.

106. The Common Man

So common, so loving. So wonderful.

My all-time favorite season of WGI.
With the common man.
and my common redline friends - no, family.

I love you guys.

105. Point of View

"You're only as good as your last show."

My dad used to always tell me that.
If that's true, I wasn't very good.
Point of View, senior year. We made finals.
but it was out of coincidence. To me, it kind of felt like the staff gave up on us that year.

We had all the potential in the world, but we never peaked.
The members gave up too. It was kind of a sad year for Centerville percussion.

I guess I believe I'm only as good as my last show.
I guess, subconsciously, I was thinking that as I took Andrew's offer at Redline.

I'm good. I'm going to be the best I can possibly be. I deserve it. I do.

105/365

104. Bounce

2008 Bounce. Fifth place, 92.5
I don't remember much about this year except being really really good.

...what happened to us?

104/365

103. V for Vendetta

V for Vendetta. . . . 2007 WGI. The only year I didn't get a finals show.
This was a strange season. I played vibraphone. It was stressful; having a solo with a vibraphone pedal that was bipolar.
I will never forget the Kettering Fairmont MEPA show when my pedal didn't work.
When it didn't work, I looked straight ahead of me, into Andin's eyes, and saw the same feeling I was feeling.
Embarrassment. Annoying-ment. That's not even a word. Oh well.

This was the season I met Zachary Todd Foster. The same boy I had performed to the year before but didn't even realize he existed. This was the year my trust got shattered. But, this was also the year that I learned things.

I'll finish this tomorrow when I'm not dying.
103/365

102. Raising the Bar

It's WGI week.
My first WGI show - Raising the Bar
Fifth place at WGI with a 92.2 - WGI 2006
I didn't realize at the time how wonderful WGI really was.
I didn't realize what I had gotten myself into.

This was the first year I played vibraphone.
I can't remember a whole lot about that year except playing for Centergrove in Nashville
and of course, beating them in Nashville.

If I would have known. if only I would have known.

101. Humanity.

I stopped in Sylvania to get gas on the way home, and my total amounted to 11.06.
I was only expecting it to be $11 even. Luckily, I had some change in my wallet.
. . . only $0.03 - but this gives me home in humanity.

Not the fact that I was three cents short, but the fact that the lady told me not to worry about the other three cents.
Thank you for giving me hope that we're not all corrupt. I will find and keep that extra three cents with me forever
in hopes to give it to someone who is three cents short.

I'm home in BGSU, packing things up to go home on Thursday. I'm taking things home so I won't need Mom and Dad to come help me. I cannot wait to bring Redline home to my home preview show. My pride, my joy. I love Redline, and I love WGI Championships week.

101/365

ps. Hi, Mike Bishop =)

100. One hundred.

i cant believe I've gotten this far. one hundred days of project threesixtyfive. it's a monumental step that I need to take, to tell myself that I can infact do whatever I set my mind towards. I can achieve anything I want to. In the last one hundred days, I've gone through so much. Ive grown as a person, I've made friends I'll keep until I die. It's absolutely wonderful.


thank you so very much.

100/365

099. Somebody give me a sign that everything's going as planned.

I was up until 2am. Writing papers.
About Harry J. Potter and Kingdom Hearts.
I'm a nerd x200395682345235

I'm tired.
I have an earache.
It's redline day.
I'm excited.

tomorrow is day 100.
i've done this for 100 days.
that's insane.

99/365

098. Cause and Effect.

I am about to enter my fifth WGI finals week.
I am about to play my fifth Centerville Preview show.
I will, hopefully stand at my fourth finals retreat.

WGI has been a part of my life for the last five years.
I wouldn't be the person I am without it.
I wouldn't have met the people in my life without it.

I pretty much owe my life to WGI.
Such an inspiration to every aspect of my life.

Thank you.

98/365

097. Background check

This was the show that gave me the goal I have today: to age out at MCM.
I don't care what you say about Music City Mystique,
there is no way anyone can deny their hands.
Their front ensemble hands are ridiculous.
Say what you will, but I'm aging out down there.
I absolutely adore MCM 2008.

I only wish I could play as well as they do.
I really do wish that I was good enough to make that front ensemble.

Goal - It's going to happen. I swear to god. I absolutely love MCM Pitband.

97/365

096. My biggest inspiration

I'm not sure if you know who Alexander Michael DeLeon is, but I'm going to enlighten you.
He is my number one inspiration in life. His words are pure genius.

Alex DeLeon is the lead singer of The Cab. Not "Death Cab for Cutie". They are two different bands.
(The Cab is better) The Cab's debut CD, "Whisper War" is the only CD to date that I can listen to the entire thing all the way through. In my times of need, as in yesterday and Sunday, you best believe that I put Whisper War on repeat and listened to it all day. My day is bad until I hear Alex DeLeon sing to me. And then all my worries float away. His voice is unlike anything I've ever heard, and his lyrics mean more to me than anything in the world. When I'm in a sad state, he's the person I write to.
Even though I know he won't answer me, I still write. To me it doesn't matter. I feel better regardless.

Alex DeLeon's voice and words make my severed heart whole again.

"People say love is overrated. . . . I say it never had a chance" - AMD

96/365

095. Lnze = Monopoly $$$

""When the time comes to leave, just walk away quietly and don't make any fuss." -Banksy


"It's not going to work between us."

Those seven words are the worst words to EVER hear.
. . . I heard them yesterday.

He thinks we wouldn't work out.

I, obviously, disagree. Whole-heartedly.
For the last time, will I act on my heart.
I'm done. I'm done. I'll sit here alone.

I do not understand why he's not even willing to try.
For Gods fucking sake, why waste my time if you thought it wasn't going to work out to begin with.
the "you make me happy too" 's and the "at least you get to talk to me :)" 's meant nothing, apparently.


do not fucking waste my time.
do not fucking lead me on.
do not fucking do something you do not fucking mean,
if you fucking don't mean it.

i have been led on so many times in the last five years.
that i'm just fucking sick of it.
i can't trust a damn soul i meet anymore.

if you don't have any kind of feeling behind an action, the action should not exist.
why would you freaking do something, or say something if you don't mean it?!
that's just retarded.

like, it makes me absolutely sick to my stomach to think that words between us obviously meant nothing.

i was played, like monopoly money.

I seriously considered running my car off the side of interstate 23 on Saturday night.
Sounds dramatic, I know.
I was about three inches away from the side of the road.
I would have done it, but I like my car too much.
I really am not inspired to do anything anymore.
I don't really see anything worth while anymore.


fucking sick to my stomach.
i'm sick of the bullshittery. I'm sick of this happening.

I have more people walking out of my life then stay.
But I can't blame him. He wanted to stay in my life.
I can't have him in my life. I can't.
It's either one way, or no way.

we can win every fight.
i'm just going to start telling myself i'm going to die alone.

95/365

094. all i do is win win win no matter what

up down up down up down.


I don't know what to do. I think i've gotten myself in too far and there's no exit.
I really think I dug a hole for myself.

Up the river without a paddle.
I'm really sorry. I really am.

94/365

093. Make sure to think it through

Is it really too much to ask that something actually goes my way for once?
I've been fighting so long for this, that it's not even funny.
this is a fight i refuse to lose


"it'd be different if we were closer, ya know?"

. . . . no. i don't know. if you really want something,
you can fucking make it work.
fucking centergrove 2009 - make it work, a centergrove contraption.

that's something redline has taught me.
if you really want something, even if it looks out of reach,
you can make. it. work.
regardless of conditions; distance, money, lack of transportation.


i'm calling you out - be honest with me.
you just don't want me enough to try.

you just don't want to try.
i give up, you know. i can't keep fighting for you.
i can't, and i won't.

93/365

092. Prop up on the table, like a mannequin.

I'm redoing this. Because I was upset. And I don't know what I want.
I'm confused. I don't know what's happening in my life.

Last night was kind of a blur. I was sick of being led on,
I was sick of being disappointed.

At this point, the only thing that I know is that today is Friday.
Friday is the best day of the day, because it is Redline day.
+ I absolutely adore my Redline family.

. . . . more than I ever thought I could.
more than I ever thought I would.
more than anyone can ever understand.

i love you guys. so very much. i really do. ♥

92/365

091. Hearing things.

I've had a rotten day.

"Hahaha that really sucks. At least you get to talk to me :)" - RNT

God, I love this kid.

I really dont have anything else to say.
Back to writing about Harry J. Potter.

91/365